Who Gives A Eff About Father’s Day???

This title is a little harsh, but it’s how I really feel sometimes. I commend all those men out there that are handling their business, taking care of their kid(s), and keeping their home in order. But, for the ones out here NOT handling their business, you should be ashamed. You don’t deserve the title of father because you don’t even know what it means.

When I say ‘taking care of your kids,’ I’m not merely just talking about financially. I’m talking about all the other stuff. I’m talking about teaching your son how to treat women, teaching your daughter that she should set standards for the other men that will be in her life, teaching your son how to be a man, teaching your daughter that not every man is deserving of her time, teaching your son to set standards for women that will be in his life, teaching your daughter how to carry herself as a lady, etc.

Some men rely too heavily on the women to teach kids the ‘facts of life.’ There are certain things that are just taught better by a man.

If men were to step up and lead in their households and spend some quality time with their kid(s), then maybe boys wouldn’t be out here disrespecting girls and girls wouldn’t be out here disrespecting themselves.

Children need financial security, but they also need the guidance and leadership and nurturing that a father has to offer.


Friends…How Many Of Us Have Them???

So, I have a friend that’s going through something right now and it’s obviously a big deal. So, my friend loosely tells me what’s going on and I immediately go into nurture mode. “What’s wrong?” “What may I do to help?” “I’m here if you need me?” Blah, blah, blah stuff like that. Anyway, I get no response. Nothing.

My feelings were even a little hurt to where I was on Twitter sending subliminal tweets geared towards said friend. I know, childish right? But I didn’t know what else to do.

For days I haven’t heard from my friend and I’m starting to think it’s me. But by thinking it’s me I feel that I’m being selfish. Am I? Isn’t it normal to be concerned for a friend and want to make sure they’re ok? Since I’ve been getting ignored, silent treatment, cold shoulder etc. I’ve been wondering why even tell me something’s wrong? Why even let me in on something so personal and then don’t let me know how you’re feeling or how you’re doing? Is it time to let the friendship go? Am I being selfish? Idk…

The Great Escape

What is “the Great

Escape”?? you ever feel like dieing? like death is the only escape from your problems? i mean some people may say, “hey give thanks, it could be worst” but what “could be worst” to you, may not be the same for me. We are all different, Traped in our own ways, bothered by our own forms of insecurities & troubles and most of the time, it’s really your consciences that need to escape, but how? because most of the time… nobody understands you, and say stuff like. “Hey, cheer up… It could be worst

Some use Drug’s as there great Escape, some go on vacations, Some go to there families, but what about those who can’t afford any of the above? whats next for them??

Sometimes we ask for the position we are in, maybe not verbally, but our actions are the main subjects to our outcome. On the other hand some people are forced into it.

What’s your “Great Escape” ??

Something to Think about…

-Denzil Porter

Believe None of What You Hear and Half of What You See

We’ve been through this so many times before. One minute there’s a cure for HIV and then one minute there isn’t. I feel the need to bring this up because of the recent Twitter trend about the man who was cured of HIV.

After all the buzz and me getting overly excited (AGAIN) about the possible cure for HIV I had to find out for myself.

And then I read the article …

Come to find out the man also had leukemia, his immune system had to be completely wiped out, and he needed a transplant. His donor just so happened to have the right type of stem cells that his body needed to war off the infections.

Today, he’s leukemia and HIV free thanks to a donor. His story is remarkable, but I encourage us all do our own reading before we go out spreading the word that there has been a cure. There are millions of other infected people who don’t fit the bill to have this spectacular outcome.

Remember to #knowyourstatus and #wrapitup…here’s the article that about the Berlin patient, check it and pass it along

Stem Cell Transplant Cures HIV In \’Berlin Patient\’

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T do you know what that mean? (In my Webbie voice)

I'm sure this chick didn't have a man

Ok, ok, ok so some of these songs out here got women feeling all empowered, like they could take on the world and at the same time do it WITHOUT men! Remember when Destiny’s Child came out with Independent Women? I know I do and it’s still in rotation on my iPod (don’t judge me, I still love DC). Or when Webbie came out with his very hood version song of what an independent woman was, I certainly remember him saying something like “she got her own house, she got her own car, two jobs work hard you a bad broad…” I find nothing wrong with the message these lyrics convey.


I’m just going to say it and get it over with…some of us ladies take it a bit too far with the independent woman thing (*wipes forehead* There! I said it). I’m so proud of you who got your bachelor’s, master’s, and/or doctoral degree, I’m proud of the single mother raising two kids and holding down two jobs, I’m proud of the up and coming supermodel, business owner, music/film producer, or whatever else your accomplishment may be.

But, there’s always a but, do we have to forget about the men along the way? I mean, we still need them right? Your degrees can’t hold you at night, take you to the theater, laugh at your lame jokes, hug you when you’ve had a bad day, tell you that you’re beautiful, take you to the movies, stay up all night on the phone with you, send that sweet text during your long and hard day, or tell you ‘I love you.’

For all the independent women out there that are serious about wanting a man to pursue them, you’ve got to learn to let a man take the lead sometimes. Let a man be a man and trust me, you will go far. Do you really want to push him away with all your talk about how you don’t need him? And it’s not just talk, it can become apparent in your actions as well. If you have some idea about how men work, then great you’re already a step ahead when I give this example. Men are fixers. They’re really not all that concerned with the small talk that us ladies like to engage in with our girls. So, for example, say you’ve been trying to fix something ( I don’t know, a umm computer or something with your car) and he offers to help you several times, but you refuse him every time by saying you’ll just let someone else look at it. Even though he may know jack squat about fixing computers or a car, just oblige him and let him give it a try. What’s the worse that could happen? You stroke his ego by making him feel that he contributed to you in some way? He already knows that you can take care of yourself, but if you remind him every 10 seconds that you don’t need him he will eventually find a woman who does need him. One sure-fire way to run a man off is to bruise his ego. No matter how beautiful you are, how much money you make, or the connections you have in any industry the man will just no longer be attracted to you and will find another woman who will let him be a man. Be proud of your accomplishments, but don’t let them ruin your chances with love.

Jessica Y. Adams

Check Your Intuition

Friday, December 10, 2010 at 2pm was a big day for dakookiejar’s DenzilPorter. He released his much anticipated video for the AIDS awareness song “Intuition.” After hearing the song I immediately took a liking to it (yea, and so what I’m biased, he’s my good friend, but the song’s really hot though). Of all the messages in his lyrics the biggest, underlying message is COMMUNICATION! After watching the video I got chills and instantly told anyone who would listen to watch the video on YouTube, which by the way already has over 5,000 views and counting. Anyway, watch the video and find out for yourself.

And if you didn’t already know, according to the CDC (center for disease control) in 2008 the estimated number of African Americans diagnosed with AIDS was 18, 328…that’s significantly more than our white, Native American, Hispanic, Asian, and Pacific Islander counterparts…#knowyourstatus

Jessica Y. Adams



Lying, cheating, and deceit just to name a few reasons this couple may split up

In lieu of today’s trend on Twitter #whyrelationshipsdontlast I figured I would add my two cents. Relationships don’t last for a number of reasons: insecurities, honesty (or lack there of), money (or lack there of), status, communication (either too much or not enough), lack of a friendship foundation, selfishness, lack of affection, pride, jealousy, unwilling to forgive, discouragement, etc.

It’s very odd to me that we’re willing to jump right into a relationship without doing our homework. Just think about it, if we were to truly take time to get to know our significant other we could save ourselves from a lot of heartache. But we want instant gratification. We want what we want and we worry about the rest later. Not smart. The problem is we can’t always trust our feelings when we meet someone. Some of us are so desperate to get into another relationship that we take the next person coming and worry about incompatibilities later. Some of us get into a relationship based on what we want. And let’s face it, everything you want isn’t always necessarily what you need.

I like to think about it in terms of buying a home or a car. You wouldn’t purchase a house or a car without doing some kind of research right? You would want to check the market for buying homes or cars, see if you qualify for a loan, find a realtor, and find a legit car dealership/dealer? So why not approach relationships the same way. By taking your time you can decide who should stay in the friendship category or who can move on to a potential significant other.

Jessica Y. Adams